Read a Sample Chapter from A Mark on My Soul
April 02, 2019 | Back
A Mark on My Soul
by Jordon Greene
AN EXCERPT
Available April 16, 2019
Pre-Order at Amazon
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Tuesday
September 4, 2018
Well it′s another day, another day in my cowardly closeted life. I′m in the lunch line with, of all people, Camila. Nothing unusual there, except I′m horrified she′s going to ask what I wanted to tell her yesterday. I still can′t believe I chickened out.
Now it′s the last thing I want to talk about. I mean, yeah, I want to tell her, but last night′s epic failure is sort of eclipsing that want.
"You should have come with us last night," Cam says, throwing her hand in the air and almost toppling her tray to the floor. I grab my tray instinctively, just in case. "We had so much fun, but I think it would′ve been better if you′d been there. They all like you anyway."
"Like me?" I ask without turning. I pay for my food and lead Camila to our table. "What do you mean ′like me?′"
"Like, like-like you. Like, think you′re cute, like you. Well, some of them, at least." She smirks.
I cringe. "What? Why? I mean seriously, I′m a nerd, like maybe a four out of ten," I tell her. It′s only half defensive. I really am a nerd, I own it.
"Really?" She shoots me this crazed look. "I mean, don′t get me wrong, I′m your friend. I don′t like you like that, but you′re super cute. You′re at least a solid six, maybe even a seven."
"Sure." I don′t know what else to say. I prefer this train to stop right here—no, better yet, I′d rather it derail and die a fiery death so it never comes back up. Lucky for me Parker appears and takes his seat next to Cam. "Hey, Park!"
"Hey, man!" He stuffs a chicken nugget in his mouth and doesn′t wait to finish chewing before talking again. "Is your car out of the shop yet?"
"Nah." I have to work at keeping my eyes up. His shirt is a little snug today. The contours of his chest and the ball shape of his shoulders tug at the fabric. He′s not ripped, but he′s fit. "It′s fixed though. Dad′s taking me to pick it up after school."
"Did they ever figure out what was wrong?" he asks.
"Yeah, that′s how they fixed it." Cam gives him the you-dumb-fuck look before I can react, and I cough out a laugh.
"You know what I mean." Parker grins.
"Yeah, but it was a stupid question," she says.
"Whatever." Parker waves her off.
"Yeah, there was something about engine mounts and seals. What that means, I don′t really know, but Dad does so it′s all good," I tell them. I′m not the best at car stuff. I think I could change a tire, maybe. And I know I can switch out the windshield wiper blades and fill up the water and oil, but otherwise, I′m content just knowing how to put gas in the tank.
"Speaking of your dad." A light bulb flashes in Cam′s eyes and they fixate on me. Dammit. "Right before he picked you up last night, you were trying to tell me something."
I try not to slump my shoulders, but it′s an absolute failure. My chest tightens and my mind races to find a way out. I know what she′s going to ask.
"What was it?" she asks, just as expected.
I gulp. She′s staring me down, and suddenly Parker gains interest. Suspicion paints his face. I don′t want to do this. Not here. Not now. Not with him present.
It′s hard to breathe. I hate lying to them. I really do, I swear, but I′m not doing this.
What the hell do I say? I′m not telling her here, not with Parker, and sure as hell not with the entire fucking school present. Come on, Noah, think of something.
Cam′s chestnut eyes become slits, and the corners of her mouth rise into an impish smile.
"It′s about a girl, isn′t it?" she beams.
I don′t deny it, and my face twists into an embarrassed and frustrated scowl, which only emboldens her.
"Is it?" Parker leans in.
"It is, isn′t it?" Cam keeps on, pausing between questions. She only gives me enough time to look guilty in between. "Who is it? It′s not Macy, is it? I know it′s not Laura, you′ve always been so anti-Laura."
Oh my God, Cam, just stop. Please just stop. It′s what I want to say, but I can′t form the words. Instead my mouth hangs partially open with the syllables dangling at the tip of my tongue, begging to be let loose. All I can get out is a repeated "No."
"Okay, then, did you have a sex question? You are using condoms, right?" she prods.
"Noah! You′re really surprising me," Parker jumps in and eggs her on. "I didn′t think you were the type."
"No, I mean I would, but… No," I stumble over the words. "Oh my God, really guys?"
"So it′s not about a girl?" Camila can′t seem to stop. I shouldn′t be surprised, but it still has me shaking. "So is it a guy?"
I freeze for the tiniest of seconds, but it feels like an eternity. I have to remind myself to breathe. What the hell? I′m suddenly weak and nauseous. My head tips toward weightlessness and I have to grab the table to steady myself.
No, stop. She′s just shitting you.
I let go of the table. I′m gripping so tight that my fingertips are white.
"Fuck no!" I blurt. I wish I could take it back, that I would have said something more tempered. The pit of my stomach grows more nauseated by the second. "Really, Cam? Really?"
Parker is obviously amused with all of this. His hand covers his wide-open mouth under squinted eyes. I catch a sliver of his intoxicating laugh over the drone of the cafeteria. He has the most amazing laugh, but even that cadence can′t calm me right now.
I stare Camila down but force myself to soften, to get control of myself. I′m being obvious.
"So what was it?" she asks.
"I was just going to tell you how absolutely awesome you were at the game last night, that′s all," I say, making sure it′s sarcastic as fuck. "I mean, obviously."
"Oh, right. Okay." She rolls her eyes, but I catch something caring in them. If I didn′t know better I′d think she knows something is up, something serious because she drops it. And just like that, what I thought was the end of the world is over.
"So what was it?" Park asks, oblivious that Cam just gave up.
She looks at him like it′s obvious and basically repeats my words, but makes it sound more genuine.
"You heard him, he just wanted to tell me how I great I was last night."
"Yeah, I′m sure that′s it," Parker laughs.
I′m still not out of enemy territory, but at least now I have an ally.
"Are you okay, Noah?" Parker′s voice changes. I think he′s actually worried. He′s good like that. He can joke and be sarcastic, he can be the typical rowdy guy, but he′s not a douche.
How the hell do I answer that? I don′t have a clue, but I start talking anyway.
"Yeah, I′m good. I′m just nervous about our chemistry exam." I make it up as I go. It′s not actually a lie. Technically it′s the truth, so win one for me.
Parker can't deny it. He′s in the same class and we have our first test of the semester in fourth period today. Plus, it would be a lie if I said I was ready for it. I spent last night moping about not telling Cam my secret instead of studying.
"Oh God, you′re right. It′s going to be so bad," Park says. He slaps his hands on the table and his eyes grow wider. "I swear I′m going to fail."
I manage a smile and my muscles ease up. Camila grins, and if I didn′t know better, I′d swear she just winked at me. I squint back but quickly act like nothing happened.
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